Skip to main content

I am afraid

I am afraid to look into your eyes,
Because it feels like home, that I would never have.
I am afraid to reciprocate the long stare,
Because once I am drawn in, I will drown forever.
I am afraid to I hug you long,
Because I wouldn't able to say goodbye properly if I cry.
I am afraid when you talk about love,
Because to you its different, to me its different.
I am afraid if I accidentally touch you,
Because I may not know my limit, and its monstrous to see.
I am afraid when you talk about future life,
Because I already know, for you its happy, for me its not.
I am afraid to say I love you,
Because I mean it real, and you still refuse to understand.

Of all those reasons I am afraid about you, I still want to continue this love. Its okay if you don’t understand now. Its okay if you refuse this love. I still, want to be near. My love doesn’t have to be replied, whether you know or not know how much I love you, I still love you the same. I don’t want to give you this burden, its too heavy. But I wish you to know, how precious you are to someone and you deserve the world. If I could give you the world, I would. Just please, let me be near. Let me show you my love, I don’t expect anything in return. Just be happy and do what you want in life, I’ll be there when you need me. I’ll be there I promise.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Post Loving You

When it comes to love, your kind of religion would not understand. But my kind of religion would. We share the same religion, why is it our way of life is different? I told you, that I liked you. I told you that I cared about you more than you think I do. You said, I should not lead this kind of life, that I will not be blessed. But you never said that you hate me, for liking you. I did not get the wrong idea, it was not my intention to pursue this feeling in the beginning, I truly understand that what I want, is not what you want. But aren't you being too cruel? Like, cutting ties with me? Somehow, I felt like I judged you wrong. I expected more from you. I thought that, you were gonna be more kind in handling me. I felt like, I have been loving the wrong person this whole time. And then, I realized that I actually loved someone else. They have the same face as you, but it was not you. I suddenly come to terms that, I have been loving the version of you, that I my s...

You need to be happy with someone else

“No! You have to get married. You just, have to okay. Don’t say that you’ll might join the will-never-get-married people”, Joshy flashed out, almost sounded angry. The thing was, Jenny joked how she might be single even after 30, and those words really hit Joshy like a bullet. It was not suppose to but it will make sense if you see how he loved her from the very beginning. He could not be together with Jenny and he came to term that she has to be happily married with someone who deserves her. She deserves the world. So when she joked that way, how can Joshy not be panicked? He literally give in the love he wanted the most, for the sake of normality, and for the sake that he is not the one. She has to get married, she has to. If not, what would Joshy do with his heart? She has to be happy with someone, who is capable of loving her the way she always wanted. Jenny was confused with the gesture, but Joshy could not control his action, who would? “You have to get married, no matter wh...

Night

It was raining that night. It was not that heavy, that night the rain poured romantically. As if it prepared a scene or a background sound of a beautiful memory. Joshy and Jenny went back to their dorm after a batch party. They supposed to leave with other dorm mates, somehow only them both were staying, Shawn and Mary have family plans made on short notice. Joshy and Jenny ran back at the dorm with linked arms. Because there was only one small umbrella. Little did Jenny knew, how Joshy's heart beat so fast as if it would explode any time soon. Being a gentlemen, obviously, Joshy had his half shoulder all wet, so that the cold rain did not bother Jenny's beautiful dress. Finally when they reached the dorm, Jenny invited Joshy to spend a night at her room. It was a festive weekend so most of the student went back to their hometown, and Joshy knew Jenny could be a scaredy cat sometimes so he agreed, shyly. They both dry themself with towel, Joshy changed into a comfortable t-shir...